Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Reason #25: Jack Zduriencik



Congrats on the hire, Jack. I hate you already. Leave it to the Mariners to screw up the most simple of tasks: getting a new GM. If Howard Lincoln had watched baseball in the past 10 years, he would know that when it comes to putting someone in charge of your team, there is one and only one rule:

HIRE THE YOUNGEST KID YOU CAN FIND
.

Just look at the ALCS. Theo Epstein just got his driver's license and Andrew Friedman just started shaving. So what do the M's do? They hire some wrinkly, balding old man who probably was alive during the Carter Administration.

You know who they should've hired? Twelve year old Billy Heywood.



Except this time around if Ken Griffey Jr. robs you of a home run, you can't still marry his mom, you ginger tool.

1 comment:

Ness said...

On the bright side, we can call him J-Z. He's got 99 problems but the bench ain't one! You may have Reasonable Doubt in his abilities, but I think he can find The Blueprint to success.