Reason #21: The 2008 Seattle Seahawks

The old logo is so sad...and appropriate

Let's play a fun game AND make a new top ten. This time the theme is...

You know your favorite NFL team sucks when...

1. You start a quarterback the Cleveland Browns didn't want
   
2. You're so desperate that you re-sign a WR you cut for character issues who, a year after being released, led the police on a high-speed car chase. WHILE DRUNK.
   
3. Your franchise QB makes this commercial and you wonder if it still happens to him in Seattle:
4. Your roster looks like some kid got on Madden and renamed all of the players after some of his buddies.
5. The Arizona Cardinals are going to win your division.
6. Your head coach looks like a walrus.
   
7. Your secondary proves that Jason Sehorn did not kill off the endangered species known as The White Safety
8. It seems logical that Deion Branch's next injury will come from rolling out of bed or trying to change a tire.
   
9. Texas A&M doesn't even want the 12th Man back anymore.
   
10. Bill Simmons writes about how bad you are...and then apologizes because it's like kicking a puppy at this point. A very ugly and crippled puppy.
    

Reason #3: Grey's Anatomy

Yeah, it was crazy. Some guy came out of nowhere and stabbed me for watching this show!

After the run of the hit show, Frasier, and that awesome work of cinema, Sleepless in Seattle, I thought nothing could come along that would make Seattle look softer. Yet, then you emerge, Grey's Anatomy, a show that makes Gossip Girl look as gritty as The Wire. (Yeah, I know my televison, what's up now?)

As I sit here drinking my Venti sized Starbucks cappuccino, listening to a little Nirvana, and contemplating how much I loathe everything other than flannel shirts, I’m getting a little depressed from all this rain (that is, if I was actually in Seattle right now...BECAUSE IT ALWAYS RAINS THERE) and when I get like that it's either jump off the Fremont Bridge or make a Top 10 list.

Time to McShutYourPieHole and listen up, doctors who kill most of their patients!

Top Ten Things You Didn't Know About Seattle:

1. Sir Mix-A-Lot reps us...hard
2. Where the Atomic Bomb was Invented
   
3. Only Colony to Have Two People Sign the Declaration of Independence
4. Doughnuts are illegal...as is any type of pollution. That's why we all live in tents, bio diesel fueled tents.
   
5. That's a real hospital in the show! It's where I was born and delivered by some crying woman doctor who had just cheated on her boyfriend or gotten pregnant or something else totally life ruining.
   
6. The ferry is fake though. Why would we use boats when we have bridges everywhere...FLOATING BRIDGES.
   
7. Karl Marx wrote the Communist Manifesto after seeing my high school
8. The song, Don't Stop Believin', was written about the quest to get indoor plumbing to all residents in the early '80s.
9. George Washington, namesake of our great state, could not tell a lie, except when he told you that dogs go to heaven.
10. Sarah Palin used to be Mayor.
    

Kill me now.