Great song...I suggest you all use it as the soundtrack to me serving M-Bad and Ness (Please read comments on original post before continuing.)
ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS M-POP!
First off, I don't care if Branyan is cheap. You wouldn't pay 50 cents for a turd sandwich, would you? It doesn't matter how low the price is. It's a waste of money.
Second, you know who else could play 1st, 3rd and DH? Scott Spiezio. Or Tim Tebow. Or me. Anyone but Russell Branyan.
Third, Russell Branyan hits monster jacks. Congrats. When home runs over 400 feet start counting as twice as much as those under, then we sign him.
Since I know you guys loveeeee stats so much, there's some:
SLG: .485
Most HRs in a season: 24 (OOOOO SCARY POWER NUMBERS)
# of Strikeouts in that season: 151 in 378 at bats (That's just a strike out every 2.5 at bats. YES!)
Batting Average: .230
OPS: .320 (Decent...)
If that isn't The Child Molester's Ryan Howard, I don't know what is. According to Baseball Reference, similar hitters include Matt Stairs and Bubba Trammell. YES!
Oh and best of all, at least he's durable. Oh wait...he's played nine seasons and how many times has he made it over a 100 games? Twice? Oh wow. OH WOW.
But you guys are right. Jay-Z knows something everyone else doesn't. It's not like Branyan didn't sit in the minors last year. It's not like he hasn't bounced from team to team. Good thing we didn't make a splashy signing like hmm, I dunno, Mark Teixeira. That would be awful. I'm glad we are sticking to small, meaningless signings that do nothing to either rebuild or improve the club, further sticking the Mariners in the no man's land they've been in the last three to four years.
Oh well, at least his wife's hot...
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5 comments:
"further sticking the Mariners in the no man's land they've been in the last three to four years."
We're not competing this year anyways. Moot point. He's a cheap stopgap option so other money can go towards international prospects.
"SLG: .485 ... OPS(sic): .320"
His OBP = .320. Which makes his OPS over 800. Around average. He ain't gonna set the world on fire, but he doesn't cost anything! Our payroll is like 110 million dollars and he'll take up like 1/50 of that. Who cares about cost?
"he's played nine seasons and how many times has he made it over a 100 games? Twice?"
Uh yeah that would be cause he's platooned and has been a bench player. He's def been healthy over the last 3 years, and probably beyond that but I'm too lazy to check.
"similar hitters include Matt Stairs"
Don't you hate on Matt Stairs around me boy
Sentiments shared with all points made by Ness.
Mpop, Instead of beating the dead horse, I'm curious what you would suggest that the Mariners have done instead? Play Brian LaHair at first? Put Clement at first and Joh at catcher? Sign an overpriced, declining free agent to a multimillion, multiyear deal? What would be your ideal move in the situation? Seriously, I'm curious. Let me know.
-Mbad
Ideal move is to not sign him and try to get someone who actual matters or youth or anything other than a 32 year old platoon player.
And he got hurt last year (strained oblique) soooooooo...but if even if he's healthy as a mule, he still doesn't get to play very much for a reason. He usually doesn't even get close to a 100 games, platoon or not.
Whatever. At least you guys can admit the songgggg is fresh.
Well to quote Ness "We're not competing this year anyways." We're in this one for the long term. I would love to acquire an MLB-ready, high ceiling, young player to take his spot (not to mention with a very low salary while he's under club control). The problem is clubs don't dish those kind of players out for cheap. Branyan is a quick fix to an irrelevant season while we can acquire some international prospects and use our plethora of draft picks in order to get some of these high impact youths that we would ideally have on our team.
I guess I more or less have ceded this season, while you seem to want a solid option at first base immediately. I'm willing to give Branyan a shot with low expectations for a season so we can focus our efforts on getting a young guy to replace him.
But whatever, good "songgggg" choice.
it's M-POP: raawwwrrr T-Rex
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